Debating “Sobriety”

For the past year and a half, I have maintained relative sobriety. I rarely drink alcohol, but consume caffeine in large amounts on a daily basis. There are times when I will finish off a bottle of wine over the course of 6 or 7 hours, but I steer clear of hard alcohol. I haven’t touched nor considered touching any form of “hard drugs.” So, the question is, what has this relative sobriety brought to my life? Is it helping or hindering? 

In the past year, I’ve written a book, achieved a 4.0 in my first semester of graduate coursework, read over 55 books, coached, subbed, and started another part-time job. I see the world with objective clarity, and my dopamine levels are balanced for the most part (I don’t have cravings, can exercise discipline, and I’m okay with delayed gratification). I have a solid plan for the future, and am working on making it come to fruition. Overall, I think the relative sobriety has allowed me to be productive if nothing else. 

On the flip side of that, I haven’t made a ton of money, I have been semi-stagnant in my living situation, and I don’t feel as if I am as creative or as active as I could be. There are days where I completely lack motivation, and others that I am in the doldrums (fairly normal I suppose). My hope is that introducing another substance will assist with my creativity, motivation, and contentedness. My fear is that it will disrupt my brain chemistry, make me lose sight of my goals, and hinder the clarity and perspective with which I am now accustomed to seeing the world. 

In all honesty, what I am introducing isn’t a hard drug or pharmaceutical, and has relatively mild side effects. Humans have been using it for thousands of years, and highly successful people use it routinely. I truly think it will be beneficial as long as I use it as a tool, and not as a crutch. If I stay on track, perform well, maintain better moods, and set loftier goals, won’t that be a beneficial addition? If I find myself straying from my path, becoming anxious of grumpy, lacking punctuality, or performing poorly, I will most likely cut it out of my life…again. After reading this, I’m probably making this a much bigger deal than it actually is. I’ll see how it goes and report back.